Tuesday Vision

There is Paul coming to pieces in his jail cell.

His hands are clasped in front of him. His face is buried in said hands. The vein that runs down the middle of his forehead is bulging, preparing to burst.

He’s weeping now.

He remembers all of the defeats: ship-wrecked, abused, mocked, chased out of town, career implosion, scourged, beaten, imprisoned, defamed, ignored, spit upon, disorientation, dislocation, and public shame.

As he sits in his jail cell he can’t help but wonder if it was all worth it.

Was it really worth it to leave the life of religious and social power for this? Was it really worth it to leave the respect of so many for this kind of life, traveling all over the known world for only a small number of converts? Was it really worth it to endure the hardships of being a teacher who bases his life upon a reality (resurrection) he cannot possibly prove?

It’s in this moment that I desire to put my hand on Paul’s shoulder and simply say, “Paul, you do not know the abundance of fruit that will be harvested because of your labor. You have no idea what God is going to do with your fumbling attempts. You cannot possibly imagine what the Divine has in store for your meager stack of bread and few pieces of fish.”

Then I hear the Voice speaking to me. “Let your ears hear what your lips are saying.”

And I know it is I who stands in need of hearing the Voice of the One who speaks about truth, justice, spirituality and beauty.