The following are Kara and Josh’s basic maxims concerning the universal work-out facility. You may add your own to this list.
If you can talk on your cell phone while exercising, it does not count as cardio.
Contrary to popular practice, women don’t really appreciate being undressed by the eyes of men.
Enter the shower, sauna, and hot tub at your own risk. Many a fungi have been known to find their abode in these facilities.
To the two friends who talk the entire time they are on the treadmill: If you put half your energy into the workout as you did gossiping about cheer leading tryouts and which neighbor stays up too late—you might get more out of your workout.
The consummate sweater (one who sweats) always seems to be the one who does not know where the germ/alcohol towel dispenser is located—even though there are dispensers at every turn in the work-out area.
Just because they make spandex shorts in your size doesn’t mean you should wear said spandex shorts. That goes for spandex pants too.
If you can talk on your cell phone while exercising, it does not count as cardio.
Contrary to popular practice, women don’t really appreciate being undressed by the eyes of men.
Enter the shower, sauna, and hot tub at your own risk. Many a fungi have been known to find their abode in these facilities.
To the two friends who talk the entire time they are on the treadmill: If you put half your energy into the workout as you did gossiping about cheer leading tryouts and which neighbor stays up too late—you might get more out of your workout.
The consummate sweater (one who sweats) always seems to be the one who does not know where the germ/alcohol towel dispenser is located—even though there are dispensers at every turn in the work-out area.
Just because they make spandex shorts in your size doesn’t mean you should wear said spandex shorts. That goes for spandex pants too.
7 comments:
1. If you are an old man, that does not, by default, give you the right to walk around the locker room butt naked for half an hour. The same goes for old women.
2. There is no need to shave your face while completely naked.
3. Yes. That guy IS using steroids.
4. Yes. That guy IS married.
5. Spandex is a privilege, not a right.
6. If, when you take off your shirt and are covered in some form of fur, don't climb into to the hot tub with a bunch of teenagers and think your are in anyway engaging or cool.
Calvin,
Ah yes...i neglected the locker room experience, which, as you've noted, is one of the more complex elements of the fitness center encounter :)
I like how you worded number 5...that's pretty funny.
If your over 350lbs. no canon balls in public pools, period. I mean leave some water in the pool for the kids.
Pickup basketball game vs super-sweaty middle aged man and his hot sasquatch breath is never good. I mean if your that obsessed your with your body shape...
BRUSH YOUR TEETH TOO!
Elliot:
Great insights per "canon balls"...and pick-up basketball games (where some of the greatest injustices on earth occur).
If you you sweat so much that you are dripping on the person behind you, do the entire gym a favor and buy a treadmill for your own home.
Spoken from personal experience on behalf of the sweat-upon, here.
Guh....
several different ones...hopefully this doe not turn into a rant
If you are going to sweat on the treadmill, don't smoke on your way to the gym. Sweaty Cigarettes do not smell good
Just because you can squirm, twist and torque Grunt grown and huff a certain amount of weight one time does not mean you should
Mirrors are to be used to check out your weight lifting FORM not your FIGURE.
BONUS: to the Employees
No I do not want to watch an infomercial when a sporting could be on.
Emily,
As a profuse perspirer, I hope the rest of the fitness world will show us some grace. However, I realize the grace stops where the puddles begin.
Kyle,
I knew you'd weigh in on this discussion. Ha.
Kara and I rode the Paint Creek Trail on Sunday with Justin and Casey Remsing...we rode about 15 miles total. Anyways...this reminded me of a time when we rode this trail and at the halfway point, much to my dismay, was a young person who smoked her pack like it was the last smoking experience she would ever partake of. Then, she got back on the bike and said, "all right, let's do it."
One person noted, "she could've stayed at home, not smoked, and been in better shape."
I know smoking is an addiction and my little anecdote is a bit shallow...but it's still pretty funny.
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